Chris Isernio

Someone in the gym was offended by my emails, I’m curious if anyone else is insulted or offended?
I write them with the intention of motivating you to eat well.
Look what it did for Mitch, he has only cheated once since he was called out for his obscene body fat percentage and he felt horrible about it. Now Mitch feels better and looks better, he’s even squatting again.
This is why I write them. I try to pound it into your head, day in and day out, email by email until you change your eating habits.
Look at Annie, she’s 82 years old and looks like she’s 40!
She was eating fuckin bagels everyday before she saw the light.
Look at Dave, he lost almost 20 lbs and now he looks fuckin great with definition instead of smoothness! Look at Amy, she stopped eating pasta and looks terrific, her arms look like defined quads! If fuckin works!
Whether you realize it or not reading, “Eat Meat, Chicken, Fish and Eggs” every fucking day has an effect on what you put in your mouth.
Your training doesn’t matter if you’re not eating well.
Unless you are genetically gifted or 20 years old and your goal is to look better it will never happen from training alone.
You know the saying, You can’t out train a bad diet, right? It’s the fuckin truth!
On the other hand you can look great from eating well and not training very hard, I’m not condoning it, but it’s true.
Eating well is Numero Uno, not only to look better but for your health as well.
Well, just so you know, the emails aren’t going to stop, not till everyone is eating properly.
You know what should make you want to eat well? When you eat well you’re hurting the big food industries pockets and they are the ones trying to poison us with the shit they put in our food to keep you coming back and purchasing their crap.
They treat us like fuckin idiots purposely lacing their foods with chemicals to keep you addicted for the purpose of profit.
So, if your health isn’t a good enough reason to eat well maybe knowing that every time you eat a cookie or piece of cake, that they just got over on you will help you stop buying their crap.
Don’t be a fuckin zombie, take control.

Run 400
1 Min Deep squat
10 Goblet Squat
10 Squat and reach
10 Cossack
10 World’s greatest stretch
5 Inchworm
10 Bird Dogs
10 Dead bugs
10 Single Leg Glute Bridge

Every 2:30
10 x 10
Back Squats
Swings
Increase 5-10 from last week

10 Min AMRAP
Run 200
10 DB Snatch 50/35
10 T2B

Run 400
Around the World x 20 each direction
Hip Airplane x 10
Single Leg RDL w/ KB x 10
Cat-Cow x 10
Bird Dog x 10
Side Plank clamshell x 10
Dead bug x 10
Single leg glute bridge x 10

Every 3 min x 5
Deadlift x 5
DB Bulgarian Split Squats x 8
Goblet Side Lunges x 6
Increase from last week

2 sets:
6 Minute Amrap
30 Double Unders
5 Hang Power Cleans @135/95
5 Thrusters @135/95
5 Burpee over Bar
Rest :90 b/t sets

We haven’t done a long one in a while.
How bout we don’t complain about this and we just do it?

3 Rounds

Run 400
100 FT. Goblet Walking Lunge
10 Toes 2 Bar / K2E / or 20 Sit ups

Ski 500/400
100 FT. Farmers Carry
10 Toes 2 Bar / K2E / or 20 Sit ups

Bike 30/24 Calories
100 FT. Double KB Overhead Walk
10 Toes 2 Bar / K2E / or 20 Sit ups

As some of you may have already heard, our beloved Lorraine has been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Yeah, I know, sucks. This is what happens when we age, shit starts to suck.
She is having surgery to remove her boobies on July 15th.
I know you all love Lorraine as much as I do so we are all going to make this a little easier for her by digging deep into our pockets to come up with a collection to put on a Doordash card for her so she doesn’t have to prepare dinner for her and her family while she is recovering, she’ll of course only be purchasing healthy food. Can you even buy healthy food through Doordash? Are we that lazy that no one can leave the house anymore to go buy groceries and cook healthy shit at home?
It’s incredible, the stupid ideas they come up with to support everyone’s terrible eating habits and kill us even quicker.
Who would have thought we would accept the idea of some random maniac picking up your fast food, driving it to your house and dropping it at your doorstep so bugs can crawl in the bag, especially flies, don’t flies puke on their food before they eat it? That’s disgusting.
Is it really that hard to get up and go to the grocery store, buy your food and cook it? I don’t even think you need to walk around the grocery store anymore, I think they can pick it out for you and have it all bagged and ready to go before you get there, which in itself is kinda crazy. How do you know they’re picking out quality shit as opposed to the crap that’s been sitting there for a week? Who wants meat that has been sitting in the case for a week? They probably keep the food that’s going to be picked up on the side next to the garbage instead of in the glass case.
You see what they are doing to society? Turning us into lazy ass mother fuckers who sit around waiting for some unknown disgusting person who most likely just took a crap without washing their hands right before picking up your food and who could possibly be spitting or peeing on your McDonalds, to show up at the door so you can speed up your way to high cholesterol and a fatty liver.
Maybe we should rethink the Doordash card.
Anyways, I’m sure Lorraine won’t be doing or thinking any of this, she will be ordering only healthy food, it’s it’s even possible.
I thank you and Lorraine’s soon to be departed bosoms thank you.

Send all your money to Michelle’s venmo, @michelle-march-7

Run 400
20 PVC Pass Throughs
I’s, Y’s and T’s x 10
Banded Int/Ext Rotations x 10
Face Pulls x 10
Inchworm x 10

Every 3 min (5) Sets:
Bench Press 6-8 reps
Barbell Bent Over Row 6-8 reps
Perform a drop set for the 5th set of each

3 sets (failure should be at these rep ranges)
Dips 8-12
DB Skull Crushers 8-12
BB or DB Shrugs 8-12
Front Plate Raises 8-12
DB Side Laterals 10-12
Standing BB Curls 8-10
Last set drop set for each exercise

KB Halo x 10 ea. direction
Around the worlds x 20 ea. direction
KB Windmill x 5 ea. side
Single Leg RDL with Row x 10 ea. side

1. Pallof Press :30 hold each side then :30 rest x 2 sets
2. Half Kneeling Banded Chops :30 each side then :30 rest x 2 sets
3. Banded Russian Twists :30 each side then :30 rest x 2
4. Side Plank Rows :30 each side then :30 rest x 2
5. Banded Plank Row :30 hold each side :30 rest x 2 sets
6. Dead Bug with static band hold :30 on/ :30 rest x 2 sets
7. Copenhagen Plank :30 hold each side/ :30 rest x 2 sets
8. Hip Extension holds 2-3 Min hold

15-12-9-6
Power Clean 135/95
Burpee Box Jump 24/20

Run 400
1 Min Deep squat
10 Goblet Squat
10 Squat and reach
10 Cossack
10 World’s greatest stretch
5 Inchworm
10 Bird Dogs
10 Dead bugs
10 Single Leg Glute Bridge

Every 2:30
10 x 10
Back Squats
Swings
Increase 5-10 from last week

10 Min Amrap
5 Pull ups
10 Push ups
15 V-up
Shoot for 8-10 Rounds

NO NIGHT CLASSES FOR FRIDAY.
6, 7, 8:30, 9:30 AND 12 FOR FRIDAY.
IF YOU’RE SHOWING UP SATURDAY, REMEMBER THE CLASS IS AT 7:30
YOU SHOULD SHOW UP IF YOU’RE GOING TO STUFF YOUR FACE FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN DO THE SAME ALL WEEKEND.
I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT AT ALL.
HOW IS DRINKING AND EATING CRAP UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT AND THEN REPEATING THAT SAME BEHAVIOR FOR THE NEXT TWO DAYS A CELEBRATION.
YOU KNOW WHAT A CELEBRATION IS?
MAKING IT THROUGH A HOLIDAY WEEKEND WITHOUT MAKING A MESS OUT OF YOURSELF.
WAKING UP THE NEXT MORNING WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY AND LIKE A FUCKIIN SLOB FOR OVEREATING, THAT’S A FUCKIN CELEBRATION!

The greatest achievement of the processed food industry wasn’t inventing another artificially flavored snack—it was convincing an entire population that every date on the calendar is a sacred obligation to gorge themselves. Through decades of relentless propaganda masquerading as advertising, they’ve transformed gluttony into patriotism, excess into family tradition, and metabolic dysfunction into “making memories.”

Every holiday now comes with the same unspoken commandment: consume until discomfort, congratulate yourself for your lack of restraint, and repeat the ritual a few weeks later under the banner of yet another celebration. It’s a brilliant racket. The corporations manufacture the cravings, sell the solution, normalize the consequences, and then happily profit again from the next round of products promising to undo the damage.

We’ve become remarkably obedient participants in the spectacle—lining up on cue to stuff our fucking faces because a marketing department decided that every occasion deserves another mountain of ultra-processed calories. Somewhere along the way, moderation became antisocial, discipline became deprivation, and saying “No thanks, I’m full” became more offensive than the industrial-scale manipulation that convinced us this circus was normal in the first place.

Run 400
Around the World x 20 each direction
Hip Airplane x 10
Single Leg RDL w/ KB x 10
Cat-Cow x 10
Bird Dog x 10
Side Plank clamshell x 10
Dead bug x 10
Single leg glute bridge x 10

Every 3 min x 5
Deadlift x 5
DB Bulgarian Split Squats x 8
Goblet Side Lunges x 6
Increase from last week

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
Thruster @75/55
Burpee
20 Double Unders between each set (200 D.U.)
If you still choose not to practice double unders therefore guaranteeing that you will never become proficient in them, your punishment will be 20 V-Ups instead.
I hope your abs hurt so much that you can’t eat anything this weekend.

Another Holiday is upon us. Before you go out and purchase chips, hot dog and hamburger buns, fuckin dips, cakes, cookies, and all the other shit they’ve manipulated us into believing it’s ok to eat just cause it’s a holiday, think about how you will feel when you make it through the weekend without gorging yourself silly.
Just because you go to a party it does not mean that you have to partake in the nonstop eating festivities.
You can go to a party and just eat MEAT and CHICKEN, every BBQ has MEAT and CHICKEN, right?
Why not take advantage of BBQ’d MEAT being available?
You don’t need the three obtrusive salads, potato, macaroni and coleslaw (Don’t be fooled, there is sugar in coleslaw) with your MEAT and CHICKEN.
Just because they have the word salad in the name doesn’t mean they are healthy.
Don’t fall victim to another silly reason to eat shit.
Stand tall, hold your ground, don’t be weak and give in to the diabolical food industry.
That’s what they want you to do!
They want you to sit around at some party you don’t want to be at, continuously stuffing your face and poisoning yourself as they laugh with profits piling in at your expense.
Remember, it’s just another day!
You’ll feel great on Sunday night, believe me!

20 Min EMOM
Run 200 or Row 250/175
Rest 1 Min

20 Min EMOM
Farmers Carry :30
Battle Ropes :30
D-Ball Toss :30
Med Ball Rotational Throws :30 (:15 ea. side)
Rest

What happened to places like Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, Stew Leonard’s actually having healthy food?
Here’s the problem, they were never healthy, they just disguised themselves as healthy food stores through manipulative marketing tactics.
I’m sure you’ve all been in one of these stores, have you see all the packaged shit they sell?
It’s all crap filled with sugar and chemicals!!
If it’s sold in a bag, it’s pure shit, shit, shit, shit. Don’t be fooled by the persona they’ve created around their stores, the only good stuff is MEAT, EGGS, CHICKEN AND FISH!!
Don’t buy anything else from these stores. You say, “but Chris, what am I supposed to eat for a snack?” NOTHING!!!!!
THERE ARE NO FUCKIN SNACKS!! THAT’S A RIDICULOUS WORD CREATED BY THE SUGAR INDUSTRY TO SELL THEIR POISON!!!
FOR THAT MATTER, THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DINNER!!
YOU JUST FUCKIN EAT!!!! EAT WHEN YOU’RE HUNGRY AND WHEN YOU’RE HUNGRY YOU EAT MEAT, CHICKEN, FISH OR EGGS!!
You’ve got to look at walking into a grocery store as if you are walking into battle.
You’re walking into a minefield carpeted with sugar and chemicals everywhere, perfectly placed at the average eye level to entice you. Thank God I’m tall. Do not fall victim to this devious behavior.
Think about it, it’s chemical warfare. These food companies have declared war on our health and they are doing everything they can to manipulate us into thinking otherwise.
Let’s create another meal and tell people they need to stuff their faces with shit between meals, we’ll call it a snack!!!
This is the kinda shit they do!!
Popcorn and a movie, yeah, ok. Who the fuck invented that mess, Orville Redenbacher!
Skinny Popcorn? There’s no one skinny eating skinny popcorn, just people who would like to be skinny and they think because the word, skinny is in front of the word popcorn it must be healthy.
Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous what they try and do to us.
Avoid all that nonsense and go to the fuckin Butcher or Fish store.
I’ve heard Tom Milana’s new butcher shop in Oyster Bay is really good, and they also sell fish. It’s called The Bay Butcher, give it a try, he’s got great aged steaks!

Run 400
20 PVC Pass Throughs
I’s, Y’s and T’s x 10
Banded Int/Ext Rotations x 10
Face Pulls x 10
Inchworm x 10

Every 2:30 (5) sets
Bench Press
Increase from last week, failure should be between 8-10.
Last three sets perform a Drop Set
5 Weighted Chin Ups

3 sets (failure should be at these rep ranges)
Dips 8-12
Standing DB Overhead Tricep Ext. 8-10
Bird Dog Rows 8-12
Barbell Shoulder Press 8-10 then Drop Set
DB Side Laterals 10-12 then Drop Set
Standing DB Curls 8-10 then Drop Set

KB Halo x 10 ea. direction
Around the worlds x 20 ea. direction
KB Windmill x 5 ea. side
Single Leg RDL with Row x 10 ea. side

1. Pallof Press :30 hold each side then :30 rest x 2 sets
2. Half Kneeling Banded Chops :30 each side then :30 rest x 2 sets
3. Banded Russian Twists :30 each side then :30 rest x 2
4. Side Plank Rows :30 each side then :30 rest x 2
5. Banded Plank Row :30 hold each side :30 rest x 2 sets
6. Dead Bug with static band hold :30 on/ :30 rest x 2 sets
7. Copenhagen Plank :30 hold each side/ :30 rest x 2 sets
8. Hip Extension holds 2-3 Min hold

5 rounds
Run 200
10 Burpees